Sunday, March 22, 2009,11:19 AM
What is true love?
*1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New Living Translation)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
歌 林 多 前 書 13:4-7 (Chinese Union Version (Simplified))
4 爱 是 恒 久 忍 耐 ， 又 有 恩 慈 ； 爱 是 不 嫉 妒 ； 爱 是 不 自 夸 ， 不 张 狂 ， 5 不 做 害 羞 的 事 ， 不 求 自 己 的 益 处 ， 不 轻 易 发 怒 ， 不 计 算 人 的 恶 ， 6 不 喜 欢 不 义 ， 只 喜 欢 真 理 ； 7 凡 事 包 容 ， 凡 事 相 信 ， 凡 事 盼 望 ， 凡 事 忍 耐 。
However, the effects of love busters are Abusive, Controlling and Habit pattern.
In a marriage, it will take out the two sides to a person; a “Giver” and a “Taker”.
Attributes of a Giver:
- I will do whatever I can to benefit you even when I am unhappy.
- Love unconditionally.
Attributes of a Taker:
- I will do whatever I can to benefit myself even when you are unhappy.
3 different stages of marriage:
Intimacy – the love feeling is so intense that both of you will do anything just to make each other happy. =)
- Giver
- Love
Conflict – the love feeling went down and both of you just want take what you want just to make yourself happy.
- Taker
- Fights
Withdrawal – the love feeling is no more there and because of you are tired of fighting already, you both just decided not to be bothered about each other and live a separate life.
- Taker
- Give up
6 Love Busters
1) Selfish demands (abusive and controlling)
1 Corinthians 13:5 (New Living Translation)
5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
“Policy of Joint Agreement”
Never do anything without an ENTHUSIASTIC AGREEMENT between you and your spouse.
- When you are enthusiastic means you are happy to do; it will help increase love units in each other’s Love Bank account if both of you do it.
So instead of making Selfish demands you should make “Thoughtful Requests”.
Thoughtful -> Considerate, you think for the person
Requests -> Ready to accept “no” as an answer.
2) Disrespectful Judgments
“Respectful Persuasion”
- Love your neighbor as yourself.
- Allow yourself to be persuasion back.
3) Angry outburst
- Angry outburst aims to PUNISH!
How to deal with Angry outburst?
a) Acknowledge
b) Recognize
c) Policy of Joint Agreement
d) Avoid Love Buster 1 and 2
- Never lose your temper on your spouse
With Love, ♥
★ Annabelle ★
★ Annabelle ★