Tuesday, August 11, 2009,3:09 PM
Well I don't wanna be someone who only know how to use but not how to take care. I admit until now I am still learning to maintain my beloved car by having the good driving habits but still... Haiz... As I wish the car I feel so happy after it's clean and shiny but when I saw all the scar that I gave to the car, I was guilty and heartache. Sobz... My dad doesn't seems very pleased but well, I will make extra effort to be extra careful ba...
Many things came to my mind when I was washing the car and seems like there's so many things I am looking forward to. I just pray that God will make a way for the things I am looking forward to. I really wish all the things that I hope will quickly come to past; hopefully everything on my birthday but I know there isn't much time left... Well I gonna leave everything in the hands of God; the safest of all.
Lord I thank You for everything that you somehow let it happen and I learnt from it and the wonderful things that are yet to come. I love You.
With Love, ♥
★ Annabelle ★
★ Annabelle ★
Monday, August 3, 2009,11:22 PM
02 August 2009, CHC's 20th Anniversary... It was a really wonderful time I had at the indoor stadium. Throughout the whole 2 services many things and memories came to my mind and one of them was the 16th Anniversary of CHC.
I recalled that time was the first time ever I invited you to church. Afraid of being rejected, I really hesitated to pop that question. However, with the peace of God, I finally asked. Elated I was when your respond is a positive one, and then I realised you truly love me.
On the 16th Anniversary and was our 3rd month anniversary then mark a significance meaning to our relationship. I never deny our relationship was almost perfect and everything seems so planned by God. However, things wasn't always fall into place as we expected.
Nevertheless, I will never forget this special relationship we had and whatever the future may be I thank you for everything you had done in my life that makes Annabelle Heng today.
With Love, ♥
★ Annabelle ★
★ Annabelle ★
Saturday, April 11, 2009,9:30 PM
I finally got my driving licence on the 30 March 2009. I'm so proud to say i got my licence on my 21st year on Earth wahaha... Well it's just making my 21st year more meaningful only. Come to think of it, many things really happened on my 21st year on this Earth. Really a lot a lot, including the goods and bads...
Through the past few months, I really learnt a lot of things and also come to realise many things which I did not take notice before. Meeting with different people really change my thinking and my attitude. I guess life is all about learning and accepting the changes that happen in life.
All this while I really wanna thank God for always with me; without Him I guess I would have gone crazy or what hehe.. I am looking forward for greater things to come my way.
With Love, ♥
★ Annabelle ★
★ Annabelle ★
Sunday, March 22, 2009,11:19 AM
What is true love?
*1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New Living Translation)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
歌 林 多 前 書 13:4-7 (Chinese Union Version (Simplified))
4 爱 是 恒 久 忍 耐 ， 又 有 恩 慈 ； 爱 是 不 嫉 妒 ； 爱 是 不 自 夸 ， 不 张 狂 ， 5 不 做 害 羞 的 事 ， 不 求 自 己 的 益 处 ， 不 轻 易 发 怒 ， 不 计 算 人 的 恶 ， 6 不 喜 欢 不 义 ， 只 喜 欢 真 理 ； 7 凡 事 包 容 ， 凡 事 相 信 ， 凡 事 盼 望 ， 凡 事 忍 耐 。
However, the effects of love busters are Abusive, Controlling and Habit pattern.
In a marriage, it will take out the two sides to a person; a “Giver” and a “Taker”.
Attributes of a Giver:
- I will do whatever I can to benefit you even when I am unhappy.
- Love unconditionally.
Attributes of a Taker:
- I will do whatever I can to benefit myself even when you are unhappy.
3 different stages of marriage:
Intimacy – the love feeling is so intense that both of you will do anything just to make each other happy. =)
- Giver
- Love
Conflict – the love feeling went down and both of you just want take what you want just to make yourself happy.
- Taker
- Fights
Withdrawal – the love feeling is no more there and because of you are tired of fighting already, you both just decided not to be bothered about each other and live a separate life.
- Taker
- Give up
6 Love Busters
1) Selfish demands (abusive and controlling)
1 Corinthians 13:5 (New Living Translation)
5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
“Policy of Joint Agreement”
Never do anything without an ENTHUSIASTIC AGREEMENT between you and your spouse.
- When you are enthusiastic means you are happy to do; it will help increase love units in each other’s Love Bank account if both of you do it.
So instead of making Selfish demands you should make “Thoughtful Requests”.
Thoughtful -> Considerate, you think for the person
Requests -> Ready to accept “no” as an answer.
2) Disrespectful Judgments
“Respectful Persuasion”
- Love your neighbor as yourself.
- Allow yourself to be persuasion back.
3) Angry outburst
- Angry outburst aims to PUNISH!
How to deal with Angry outburst?
a) Acknowledge
b) Recognize
c) Policy of Joint Agreement
d) Avoid Love Buster 1 and 2
- Never lose your temper on your spouse
With Love, ♥
★ Annabelle ★
★ Annabelle ★
Sunday, March 1, 2009,1:11 AM
Woman
#4 Need of woman Financial Support
*1Tim 5:8
8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
提摩太前書 5:8
8 人若不看顾亲属，就是背了真道，比不信的人还不好，不看顾自己家里的人，更是如此。
- every woman needs enough money to live comfortably.
*Pro 12:9
9 Better is the one who is slighted but has a servant, Than he who honors himself but lacks bread.
箴言 12:9
9 被人轻贱，却有仆人，强如自尊，缺少食物。
- women want to have the choice of being a housewife or a career woman after being married.
3 Basic Budget for Every Couple
a) What you Need
b) What you Want
c) What you can Afford
- husbands should at least provide for the basic needs not having the wives to work; husbands basic salary should cover (a).
- love takes afford
- God give man work before giving them wife.
- no money; no honey
Man
#4 Need of man Domestic Support
- peace and quiet (home should be a safe refuge)
*Pro 17:1
1 Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting[a]with strife.
箴言 17:1
1 设筵满屋，大家相争，不如有块乾饼，大家相安。
- peace of mind
*Titus 2:4-5
4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
提多書 2:4-5
4 好指教少年妇人，爱丈夫，爱儿女，5 谨守，贞洁，料理家务，待人有恩，顺服自己的丈夫，免得神的道理被毁谤。
- keep a good house
How to manage domestic issues
a) List
- list down the chores for both man and woman
b) Fair division of labour
- neither one should do more
- if money is required to maintain the fair amount of labour do it (especially when you can afford it)
c) Deposit love units
- do things to spark that loving feeling.
Woman
#5 Need of woman Family Commitment
- man should be a good father to the children
What do woman means by Family Commitment?
Man should
a) spend lots of time with the children (15hrs/week)
- quality family time
b) have proper parenting skills
- parenting is not an instinct
c) have wise discipline of the children
- discipline is not the same as punishment.
- punishment is for sins.
- discipline is training for the future.
*Eph 6:4
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
以弗所書 6:4
4 你们作父亲的，不要惹儿女的气，只要照着主的教训和警戒养育他们。
- don't exasperate (don't make unreasonable demand in correcting your kids)
Man
#5 Need of man Admiration
*Eph 5:33 (AMP)
33 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[a]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [b]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]33However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[a]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [b]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]
以弗所書 5:33
33 然而，你们各人都当爱妻子，如同爱自己一样。妻子也当敬重他的丈夫。
- admiration builds a man up.
- wife, be your husband's greatest fan.
- behind every man there's an admirer woman.
This is the end of the CARE part of the whole relationship series of our beloved Pastor Kong Hee. He will be continuing to share on the PROTECT part. This is where how couples can protect their relationship against affairs...
So far I learnt a lot during this period of time, it really impacted me especially when I am able to relate to them. I guess this is all part of growing up ba. We learn things the most when problems come. We learn to treasure when we lose them or knowing that we are losing them. Through all the things that we go through, we learn and become stronger. Don't fall and sit there, fall and stand up again. We all make mistake, just learn from them and don't repeat...
With Love, ♥
★ Annabelle ★
★ Annabelle ★
Sunday, February 22, 2009,10:24 PM
Woman
#2 Need of woman Conversation (15hrs/week)
- in order to relate, you need to talk to each other
- no communication = no relationship
- on average Man speaks 15000 words a day
- Woman speaks 30000 words a day
What do Man talk about?
- practical things
For Woman
- If you love me, you talk to me
- If you talk to me, it means you love me
Why do we have to converse?
- To converse is to meet each other needs (couples need to come to a point that they have mutual interest in order to spend quality time together.
*Phil 2:4
4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
腓立比書 2:4
4 各人不要单顾自己的事，也要顾别人的事。
- be interested in what the others are interested in.
*Col 4:6
6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
歌羅西書 4:6
6 你们的言语要常常带着和气，好像用盐调和，就可知道该怎样回答各人。
- learn to converse in a caring word.
- conversation should be constructive
Man
#2 Need of man Recreational Companionship (included in the 15hrs/week)
*Col 3:18
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
歌羅西書 3:18
18 你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，这在主里面是相宜的。
- the couple that place together, stays together.
Woman
#3 Need of woman Honesty and Openness
- when there's no trust, there's no love relationship.
- knowing you includes the positive and negative sides.
- man and woman are married to shoulder each other's burden.
Man
#3 Need of man Attractive Spouse
*1Sam 16:7
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees;[a] for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
撒母耳記上 16:7
7 耶和华却对撒母耳说：不要看他的外貌和他身材高大，我不拣选他。因为，耶和华不像人看人：人是看外貌；耶和华是看内心。
- wives, your husbands are not God.
Things to take note to stay attractive:
a) weight control
b) make up
c) hairstyle
d) clothes
e) cosmetic surgery
(if there's really a major flaw)
- physical attractive is making the others happy when they see you.
Ps: Man gets turned on by what they see (video people) on the other hand, Woman gets turned on by what they hear (audio people).
Man and woman are meant to be attracted to each other. For woman, if her man gives her constant showering of affection, even how nice other guys may treat her, she will not be attracted to them. Woman are very vulnerable, for them, the constant showering of affection from her man is a protective covering for her not to fall into temptation. As much as they wanna stay committed to their partners, we cannot deny the fact that there are always better and nicer people around that will meet their needs. So guys, as time goes by you all may get too familiar with each other, and will tend to forget how you used to treat your gal, you can forget everything I say but just remember one thing.
COURTSHIP IS FOREVER EVEN SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR EVEN YOUR WIFE.
NEVER NEVER STOP COURTING HER. =)
to be continue...
With Love, ♥
★ Annabelle ★
★ Annabelle ★
Sunday, February 8, 2009,12:01 AM
*1 Peter 3:7
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
彼得前书 3:7
你们作丈夫的，也要按情理和妻子同住（情理原文作知识）。 因她比你软弱（比你软弱原文作是软弱的器皿）， 与你一同承受生命之恩的，所以要敬重她。这样便叫你们的祷告没有阻碍。
1) Sharing life (dwell with your wife)
- share your life with her
2) Considerate (understanding your wife)
- a life long process
3) Appreciate (giving honor to your wife)
- you will raise the value of your wife in your eyes
5 Basic needs of Man and Woman
Woman
#1 Need of woman Affection
*1 Cor 7:3 (NKJV)
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
哥林多前书 7:3
丈夫当用合宜之分待妻子，妻子待丈夫也要如此。
4 things basic elements of Affection (environment)
a) Security
b) Protection
c) Comfort
d) Support
Example basic form of showing affection
i) Hugging
ii) Sweet talk
etc...
Man
#1 Need of man Sexual Fulfilment (special event)
*1 Cor 7:4-5 (NKJV)
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
哥林多前书 7:4
妻子没有权柄主张自己的身子，乃在丈夫。丈夫也没有权柄主张自己的身子，乃在妻子。
哥林多前书 7:5
夫妻不可彼此亏负，除非两相情愿，暂时分房，为要专心祷告方可，以后仍要同房，免得撒但趁着你们情不自禁，引诱你们。
to be continue...
With Love, ♥
★ Annabelle ★
★ Annabelle ★